In desperation.. any members with girlfriends/boyfriends?

[EvLwMn]

Yes Xojid - you are. But you stated some unyielding truths there. And bring up some good points.

[Hardware Junkie]

I am looking... hard to find decent folk now-a-days.

Ahem, Present female company on the board accepted, as I am sure...

[Tulatin]

Most definately. Without em, this place wouldn't be the same. Now, Xojid - you did make some very good points there...

[Valour]

We are not defined by our romantic relationships. Your worth is not contingent on the worth of others.

<--- single, and wouldn't have it any other way

-Jem

[Tulatin]

all depends on the outlook jem. As for me, i feel that i'll find a definition and a reflection of myself in that person, when i find them.

<-- Single, and would have it ANY other way.

[EvLwMn]

I am looking... hard to find decent folk now-a-days.

Ahem, Present female company on the board accepted, as I am sure...

Thank you HJ

[Valour]

all depends on the outlook jem. As for me, i feel that i'll find a definition and a reflection of myself in that person, when i find them.

You're in for a rude awakening. A romantic relationship is not a "healing" for you or a way to find yourself. It's something that comes after that point as a result of that self-awareness -- and even then it's a choice.

-Jem

[Tulatin]

Already had one of those Jem. I built who i am off of her (see forum relevance), and after it was over, who i was seemed shattered. I figure it'll work out... (if i do this right)

[EvLwMn]

What Jem is trying to say (I think) is you can't ever have a good relationship with someone until you already know who you are. Once you define that - only then can you find someone compatible with whoever you are.

You can't make someone else happy until you are happy yourself. And that is the truth. And if that is true then it follows that you can't define your happiness through someone else. It has to be evident beforehand.

[Tulatin]

So basically to find she who compliments myself, i must find myself...

[EvLwMn]

Exactly!!

By George, I think he's got it!!

[Tulatin]

at this point i've just got to say

[Valour]

Already had one of those Jem. I built who i am off of her (see forum relevance), and after it was over, who i was seemed shattered. I figure it'll work out... (if i do this right)

Well life ain't smooth sailing. Everyone experiences similar problems, tragedies, etc. and the primary difference between all of us is how much drama we create and how many people we affect in order to deal with it.

Drama does not foster a relationship. Neither does being needy. Just like IT people cringe every time that annoying neighbor or relative calls us up for the millionth time because they don't know how to send an email or the disk drive doesn't work, etc., women don't like men who need all kinds of attention and maintenance.

-Jem

[Tulatin]

Yeah, i know life can be rough, but then it can be sweet too.

That's an excellent point there

Drama does not foster a relationship. Neither does being needy. Just like IT people cringe every time that annoying neighbor or relative calls us up for the millionth time because they don't know how to send an email or the disk drive doesn't work, etc., women don't like men who need all kinds of attention and maintenance.

Relationships start becasue people want them to, and nobody wants to be stuck in a relationship taking care of someone else.

[EvLwMn]

Right. And to build on that a little - I really don't think men (in these modern times) want a needy woman either.

It has been my experience that most men, if given a choice, wants a woman who is intelligent, independent and self sufficient - a woman who doesn't need to define herself or her life through a man because she has already done that on her own.

At least that's my take on it. I suppose I could be wrong.