In desperation.. any members with girlfriends/boyfriends?

[Tulatin]

There is nothing cooler than talking with someone on line for a while - lets say a few months - and getting to know that person through conversations about everything under the sun, with no inhibitions and no feeling like you have to put on some sort of personality in front of someone - just being yourself. And then you meet them in person. It's so awesome because you feel like you already know that person on an intimate level - on a level that it can take years to establish otherwise - and you did it in just a few months through personal conversations where you didn't feel pressured and you could just be yourself.

This is cool as well. It's kind of interesting to see the person once, talk for a bit, then just get to know them online. Once you see them again, they're in a whole new light.

[Tilo]

Actually, E- I met Teri that very way... got to know her online first before we met in person. This made our first meeting really relaxed because we had already found each other's personalities...

I think if we had met in person first- it would have been much more awkward and would have taken much longer for us to click like we did. Thank goodness for the Interweb

[Foolhardy]

Actually, E- I met Teri that very way... got to know her online first before we met in person. This made our first meeting really relaxed because we had already found each other's personalities...*snip*

So, was this before or after you ordered her from the Ukraine???

[Tilo]

before, silly Foo! I had to make sure she was the perfect mail order bride, so chatted with her online and viewed her webcam, er I mean I met her on collegeclub.com

[MrToilet]

And surprise, she didn't look like a land whale. Which was the unfortunate fate of a dear, dear friend. Twice. :)

And ask Foo about what a "land whale" looks like.

[EvLwMn]

I have to agree Tilo. That's what I was saying - when my bf and I met in person for the first time it was more relaxed (for me) because I felt like he was already a close friend. And since I already felt close to him I was really glad to meet him, I didn't have a case of nerves and it was really easy for me to open up to him and have really honest conversations with him (i.e. to be myself) BECAUSE I really felt like we already knew each other - well, I guess technically we did. It's just that to that point we hadn't gone through the "ceremonial" face-to-face meeting. So for me at least, since I already knew I really liked him it was really nice to finally get the opportunity to "check him out"

One other thing - I'm pretty sure I know what a land whale looks like

[Xojid]

I'm much better at communicating through writing; I don't do as well when I have to talk unless I have some practice beforehand.

I like the experience of writing real letters, but I don't like the fact that I can't go back and read them again like I can with email or message forums.

-Jem

I definitely agree with that, at least up to a point. Sitting down and writing gives you the chance to actually organize your thoughts before presenting them to the world. Then again, I love the spontaneity of a face-to-face meeting. One trick I use at church is I'll stand in a corner by the front door. There's a plant in the way so it kind of obscures me, though I'm still in plain sight. I don't leap out and pounce them. I just stand there. Usually people don't notice me. Those that do are usually surprised. It's really funny.

Then again, there's nothing quite like sneaking up behind somebody and screeching like a velociraptor as you leap on their back. What fun, what fun.

[Valour]

I definitely agree with that, at least up to a point. Sitting down and writing gives you the chance to actually organize your thoughts before presenting them to the world. Then again, I love the spontaneity of a face-to-face meeting. One trick I use at church is I'll stand in a corner by the front door. There's a plant in the way so it kind of obscures me, though I'm still in plain sight. I don't leap out and pounce them. I just stand there. Usually people don't notice me. Those that do are usually surprised. It's really funny.

Then again, there's nothing quite like sneaking up behind somebody and screeching like a velociraptor as you leap on their back. What fun, what fun.

Heh... well I weigh about 190 (not a land whale -- I exercise every day ) so jumping on someone's back would probably kill them. I'll take your word for it though.

I'm pretty quick about forming written thoughts, but it's the process of thinking before saying the whole sentence that I prefer. I can choose words that I ordinarily wouldn't have the time to think of. I don't know if it's just a New York thing or if it's the way American culture is, but everyone tries to speak so fast and they never listen unless you blurt out what you have to say as quickly and concisely as possible. If you take your time with your speech and your thoughts, other people will steamroll the conversation. Being quick and witty has a time and place, but being imaginative and thoughtful carries more weight with me.

There's also a certain level of sense interaction with writing, because using my hands to write produces a different response from my brain. I can literally feel what I'm writing, so it's easier to think. Speaking leaves me with nothing to do; it's boring, in a way. Like singing without dancing.

-Jem

[TakMusashi]

I've had to at various times in my life make an attempt to become more outspoken, quick to speak etc. for that very reason. I guess part of it at the time was a desire for attention...I can't argue with Jem though. There's nothing quite like expressing yourself through writing whether it be for communication or stress relief or enjoyment. Just out of curiousity Jem, do you have someone in your life you can just sit down and have a slow, thoughtful, conversation with? From my experience, girlfriends or good friends will often be patient enough to let this happen and the whole experience is very meaningful and enjoyable ^_^ It brings you 2 closer together.

-Tak's 2 gp for the day.

[Xojid]

I just wonder if anyone could ever have a serious conversation with me . . . Hmmmm . . .

[EvLwMn]

Well - it seems to me that we have had serious conversations with you - however brief

[Valour]

I've had to at various times in my life make an attempt to become more outspoken, quick to speak etc. for that very reason. I guess part of it at the time was a desire for attention...I can't argue with Jem though. There's nothing quite like expressing yourself through writing whether it be for communication or stress relief or enjoyment. Just out of curiousity Jem, do you have someone in your life you can just sit down and have a slow, thoughtful, conversation with? From my experience, girlfriends or good friends will often be patient enough to let this happen and the whole experience is very meaningful and enjoyable ^_^ It brings you 2 closer together.

-Tak's 2 gp for the day.

No, I don't have anyone like that. People treat me differently in person than they do online. Here, words are power and if you can't effectively communictate with words, you can't participate or no one will like you. If I don't feel well, I don't have to post anything. If someone puts up a new thread and I don't respond to it, nobody thinks less of me or them. In live meetings things are different, the environment and the conditions for acceptance are different. There are moments when I shine and everyone wants to be close to me, and there are moments when I feel cold and invisible. I generally do better when I'm in charge of something because then I'm forced to be "on."

Live meetings demand your presence and attention. You have to be there for everyone and you have to be friendly. On a message forum or in email you don't have to show up if you don't want, and if you don't respond right away people accept that. I wouldn't want to be here if I had to respond to every thread.

I do have two people that I write letters to every now and then, but they've been busy with other things and I haven't heard from them in several weeks. One has just gone off to college and the other had to go on a long, tour-like business trip. I write them long letters; one writes short notes back and is otherwise at a loss for words. I think she feels nervous because she's many years younger than I and probably doesn't want me to think she's just some stupid teenage girl. She's quite an amazing person though -- very intelligent and far more talented than I am. She won the talent contest at the state fair last year. My challenge is to write something to her that compels her to write back; if I don't move her to respond immediately, I feel like I've failed.

The other person I mentioned writes long letters back to me, offering incredible satires of her life and all sorts of other interesting things. She's several years older than me and is an excellent writer, but I think she puts off writing back to me until she really feels inspired.

-Jem

[Tilo]

If I don't feel well, I don't have to post anything. If someone puts up a new thread and I don't respond to it, nobody thinks less of me or them. In live meetings things are different, the environment and the conditions for acceptance are different. There are moments when I shine and everyone wants to be close to me, and there are moments when I feel cold and invisible. I generally do better when I'm in charge of something because then I'm forced to be "on."

I feel the same on this... so many times irl that I feel like I'm just background

I do have two people that I write letters to every now and then, but they've been busy with other things and I haven't heard from them in several weeks.... *snip*

That's really cool- I used to write long letters that had a lot of thought... I sort of miss those days. I think college made me lose some brain cells- or the good ones were replaced with useless information lol

Is there any romantic interest from you in either girl- or is it purely correspondence?

[Valour]

I do have two people that I write letters to every now and then, but they've been busy with other things and I haven't heard from them in several weeks.... *snip*

That's really cool- I used to write long letters that had a lot of thought... I sort of miss those days. I think college made me lose some brain cells- or the good ones were replaced with useless information lol

Is there any romantic interest from you in either girl- or is it purely correspondence?

I'm glad I never went to college. What a waste of time and money.

Neither of the people I write to has any romantic interest in me. I've known them both for several years. One is older and has a long-time boyfriend, the other has never had a boyfriend and is somewhat afraid of men. I just enjoy writing to them, I don't think I'd ever want to date either one of them.

-Jem